


when all is said done, you'll believe god is a woman

by cabooseachievables



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F, god is a woman and her name is evie, non magic college au, obviously inspired by ariana grande's new song, this is my first ever malvie fic and the first time i've posted a fic in almost a year go easy on me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 16:51:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15295896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabooseachievables/pseuds/cabooseachievables
Summary: Mal has never considered herself the “religious" type.Maybe it's because, well, her mom was never one for religion either, so it's a family thing, but most of it just sounds like a bunch of nonsense to her. Is it possible that there's some mightier, all-knowing being out there that controls the fate of the universe? Sure, yeah, maybe. Mal just can't bring herself to care.Except when the universe absolutely loves to torture her in the cruelest ways, and there are no other answers for it than some God must be fucking with her out there. Being in love with her best friend? Yeah, totally not Mal’s fault. It has something to do with that all-knowing mighty being who enjoys torturing her, which may or may not be God or whatever. Who knows.(based on Ariana Grande's "God is a woman.")





	when all is said done, you'll believe god is a woman

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everybody! This is my first ever malvie fic so it's a little short, but I've been lurking in this ao3 tag for months and it's about time that I wrote something for them. Thanks, Ariana. (Also, since this is technically a college AU, Mal has blonde hair but I still like the idea that Evie dyes her hair blue. It's only natural for somebody who loves making big fashion statements. Clearly.)

 

> _you, you love it how i move you_  
>  _you love it how i touch you, my one_  
>  _when all is said and done, you’ll believe god is a woman_

  
  
Mal has never considered herself the “religious" type.

 

Maybe it's because, well, her mom was never one for religion either, so it's a family thing, but most of it just sounds like a bunch of nonsense to her. Is it possible that there's some mightier, all-knowing being out there that controls the fate of the universe? Sure, yeah, maybe. Mal just can't bring herself to care.

 

Except when the universe absolutely loves to torture her in the cruelest ways, and there are no other answers for it than some God _must_ be fucking with her out there. When Mal wakes up in the mornings to her roommate, Evie, singing to herself in the bathroom as she gets ready for the day. When Evie pushes strands of Mal’s messy bedhead out of her face, fingertips brushing lightly against her skin. When Evie flips her hair while glancing at herself in the mirror, knowing damn well that she looks gorgeous, for the hundredth time this week.

 

Being in love with her best friend? Yeah, totally not Mal’s fault. It has something to do with that all-knowing mighty being who enjoys torturing her, which may or may not be God or whatever. Who knows. Religion is a funny thing, isn't it?

 

“Today is going to be a little busy, but...” Evie says this particular morning, giving herself one last look in the bathroom mirror before turning her attention to Mal. “I'll see you at Jay's party tonight?”

 

Mal, who is still half asleep in the bathroom doorway (although half is an understatement), shrugs.

 

“Not feeling it,” is all she says in response, to which Evie immediately frowns.

 

“You told Jay and Carlos last week that you'd go! Come on, M,” Evie pouts in the way that is notorious for getting Mal to cave. It works 99% of the time, but you know what? Mal isn't giving in this time. Parties are never her thing anyway, so what's the point? This is her moment to put her foot down. She crosses her arms and pretends to think it over for a while, even though everyone who knows Mal is fully aware that she'd rather study for Chemistry than go to a party willingly. It's not happening.

 

Evie tilts her head a little bit, lips quirking into a small smile as she adds a, “Please?”

 

Aaaaaand Mal can feel her resolve melting away, slowly but surely, just like it always does.

 

“Fine,” Mal says finally and— what the hell? Which part of her brain authorized her mouth to say that? Evie’s smile grows into a wide grin, and in her excitement is already making plans for the night. What they should wear, what time they should leave… She's a whirlwind as she expresses her enthusiasm for getting Mal out of the dorm, _finally_ , and shifts past Mal to find her bag for class. How does this always happen?

 

Again, you know, probably some greater force or something. Not because Mal can't turn down Evie, which is because she's in love with her.

 

It's, like, God testing her or whatever.

 

Yeah. Not her fault.

 

***

  
  
By the time they get home from Jay’s party that night, the clock says that it’s barely past one in the morning. Mal unlocks their door and lets Evie head inside first, stumbling only slightly in a way that implies Evie has had a drink or two. Just enough to be tipsy, but still more in comparison to Mal’s own sobriety. The door shuts behind them, a heavy thud, and Mal heads straight for their couch. Her body is exhausted from all of that undesired socializing— can you blame her? She lets out a sigh of relief now that they’re somewhere quiet and allows her eyelids to fall shut, listening to Evie’s footsteps around the room.  
  
“I still can’t believe Harry did all of those keg stands,” Evie says, walking over to the fridge and rummaging around for a cold water bottle. Mal chuckles a little under her breath, picturing the idiot in question after his third keg stand. Everything was fine, he’d insisted. He felt perfectly normal, he’d insisted. _Is the room spinning for all of you too?_ he’d asked, right before falling into Uma’s exasperated arms.

 

“Watching him do it made _me_ want to die, and I wasn’t even drinking,” Mal replies. There’s a light giggle in return, but Mal doesn’t dare open her eyes, because, well, Evie is wearing a really nice dress today. The form fitting blue dress she bought two months ago to wear to Mal’s art gallery showcase with gold trimmings and a split on the side. Yeah, that one. And, okay, now she’s just thinking about it and how beautiful Evie looks in it, which is sort of defeating the purpose of not looking. She can hear all of Evie’s movements as she closes the fridge and takes a sip from her water. She can hear Evie making her way over, probably about to take a seat next to her on their little dorm couch. That’s what she figures, anyway.

 

Which is why it’s, like, a million times more confusing when Evie takes a seat right on Mal’s lap, face to face.

 

What… the hell?

 

“What are you doing?” Mal manages to ask in the midst of her confusion, eyes opening to find Evie waiting with that confident smirk of hers. The one that proves that she knows how gorgeous she is and how she has an effect on anyone who so much as _looks_ in her direction. That’s just Evie’s magic, really. It’s a wonder that she’s still single, in college no less.

 

“Nothing sober me wouldn’t do,” is what Evie whispers back, tossing her long hair over one shoulder. Mal can feel her mouth go dry instantly. God, she’s really confused right now, but also really, really gay.

 

“Uh, are you sure? Because this is… new.” Mal finishes with a bit of nervous laughter, eyes darting between Evie’s just so she can try to figure out what the fuck is going on here, and it’s honestly a miracle that Evie can’t see the extent of her sudden gay panic. Actually, she probably can, since they know each other like the back of their hands. Okay. Let’s not think about that. In fact, Mal should probably say something else, but all she ends up saying is a wavering “E…”

Evie takes one last sip from the water bottle she’d grabbed, caps it, and throws it carelessly onto the couch. Then, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, she lays her arms on Mal’s shoulders, wrapping them around the back of her neck. Her fingers trace careful shapes along her skin, cool to the touch and slightly damp because of that damn water bottle, and Mal feels a shiver run through her body. _Seriously?_ Now her body is just purposely trying to betray her.

 

“Cold?” Evie questions, her smile coy.

 

“Not at all,” Mal breathes. She can’t take her eyes off of Evie’s, and, wow, she really wishes she hadn’t opened them in the first place. Her heart is literally trying to burst out of her chest and yet Mal is somehow keeping her composure, which, really, should win her some sort of acting award. Someone call the Oscars. Maybe even an Emmy. She’ll take it.

 

“Good.”

 

Now Evie’s fingers are slowly running through Mal’s blonde hair, a sensation that Mal is seriously on board with, but Mal is practically frozen in place. Her hands are just barely holding onto Evie’s hips, and, like, when did that even happen? She can’t remember. All of this is so new and it’s happening so fast that it’ll surely be a blur in the morning. All of this, as if she’s having some kind of out of body experience right now, and honestly it’d make a lot more sense than—

 

Than what? Evie actually having _feelings_ for her?

 

This is not the time to think about that though, because Evie is leaning in closer, lips barely an inch away from Mal’s ear as she whispers, “Do you want me to stop?”

 

Instinctively, Mal grips Evie’s hips just a tad bit tighter as she shakes her head no. All of this may be completely absurd and unexpected, but she’ll be damned if she lets it end so quickly. Which leads to Evie kissing behind her ear, hot and not exactly gentle, before moving on to plant kisses along Mal’s jaw. Each one sends waves of heat down Mal’s body and Mal pulls her closer without any protest, not that there would be, since Evie seems to be having a great time exploring the expanse of her body. Then it’s a pathway of kisses across the unexplored skin of Mal’s neck, then back up to her jaw, then she’s kissing the corner of her lips, and they’re really _so_ close—

 

And maybe Evie realizes that Mal has barely said a word this entire time, nor has she actually done much besides dumbly shake her head, so she pulls back and seems to start thinking this over in that self-conscious way Evie does sometimes. And, like, she can’t just do… that. Not when Evie’s lips were so close to her own, and it’s almost 1:30AM when Mal has absolutely no impulse control whatsoever, so Mal just decides to go for it herself. She surges forward and kisses Evie on the lips.

 

Evie kisses back.

 

This is very, very different.

Mal finds that she really, really likes being straddled by the girl of her dreams, almost as much as she likes kissing her. They kiss and they kiss and they kiss and Evie's fingertips are going places they shouldn't, like under the collar of Mal’s shirt and skirting across her collarbones. Mal’s hands are slowly sliding up Evie’s thighs, and suddenly she’s even more thankful for that split on the side of her expensive dress. Their bodies are pressed up against each other and it’s all so warm, so comforting. Mal thinks that she could get completely lost in Evie; in Evie’s lips and in her body, or in the way Evie kisses her as if she’s been waiting for this moment for a long time. She could do this forever.

And then, just like that, Evie pulls away from all physical contact, getting to her feet with a stretch and a yawn. As if what just happened was totally normal.

Which it wasn't. At all.

“We can talk in the morning,” Evie says, suddenly sounding very tired from the night’s events. She still smirks at Mal, though, almost triumphantly. They’ve come full circle and, once again, this is all too confusing for Mal’s brain to handle at 1:30 in the morning. “I'm getting some sleep. Goodnight, M.”

Just like that, she walks off to get ready for bed.  
  
Mal is left wanting more, so much more, and its blatantly obvious yet again that she is and always has been wrapped around Evie’s finger. Not that she's mad about it. It's just mildly inconvenient that Mal has such a big weakness for Evie, and she'd probably do anything that the girl would ask of her. Seriously, though, it isn’t her fault. It’s some uncontrollable force or whatever— and, _oh_ , wow, it's starting to make sense. Mal leans back into the couch cushions and shuts her eyes, because it’s possible that she’s finally starting to understand.

 

God is a woman; a woman with long blue hair and long eyelashes and beautiful lips and a killer sense of fashion, and, yeah, she really does love torturing Mal.

 

(Maybe she could be the religious type after all.)

**Author's Note:**

> (pls go easy on me, but if you enjoyed this go ahead and leave some kudos/comments! Find me on tumblr @ harryumas or on twitter @ agentjungkook.)


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